{"product_id":"the-best-fantasy-football-punishment-playbook-the-ultimate-guide-to-punishing-friends-co-workers-and-yourself","title":"The Best Fantasy Football Punishment Playbook: The Ultimate Guide to Punishing Friends, Co-Workers, and Yourself","description":"So you wanna embarrass the loser of your fantasy league? Perfect. You just discovered the ultimate guide to punishing your friends, family, and co-workers once they (inevitably) fail to succeed at fantasy football... or any bet, really. That's the thing about a good punishment, it's always in season!\n\nWho are we? We’re a six-headed Cerberus foaming at the mouth to gnash on your bones and chomp your eyeballs til they go squish squish, bish. Or, as our CVs say, we're the producers of the smash-hit TV series Impractical Jokers where we've been professionally punishing our bosses for over a decade. Yes, they pay us to help them deliver the most brutal, cringe-inducing, and embarrassing punishments to themselves. Sick-os? You betcha! And so are we, but now we want fresh meat. Enter: your loser friends.\n\nUse this book to take your friends' souls (or at least their pride) by humiliating them in over 420 ways! Things like:\n\nPunishments at the Draft:\nSLEEP WITH THE FISHES\nYou’ve gotta host next year's draft while league members each hide a fresh fish anywhere in your home. After they leave, it’s up to you to find them all before things turn rancid.\n\nTwists on Classics:\nDRAFT ON, WAX OFF\nYou’re a loser AND you're hairy. So at next year’s draft, you need to put 15 wax strips on your weird body, write your draft pick's name on each strip, rip it off, and put it up on the big board. Highly recommend saying your draft pick's name as you pull each strip.\n\nInternet Punishments:\nDANCE DANCE DEVOLUTION\nYou and the person who finished second to last must sign up for hip hop dance lessons for one month, followed by filming a dance video. Extra points will be given for truly making an effort with presentation and costuming. The league will pick who did the worst job and release the video online.\n\nPunishments at Home:\nDEUCE VENTURA\nPour a full bag of birdseed out onto your bed and leave your bedroom windows open until new friends arrive. The punishment doesn't end until there's a #2 to clean.\n\nFamily Friendly:\nTOE-NAILED IT\nYou must get a set of long acrylic toenails applied. We highly recommend your league-mates take you out for a pool day after.\n\nYear-Long Pain:\nHURTIN FOR A SHIRTIN\nAny time in the next year, everyone else in the league is allowed a one time opportunity to rip your shirt off wherever you are and you are not allowed to get mad.\n\nPunish the Low Score Weekly:\nLOVE BITE\nGo into work with a hickey (use a vacuum or ask a local pervert). If anyone asks about the weekend, tell them you were on a trip with your cousin.\n\nLoser's Choice:\nSKINNY DIP OR FAT SOAK: You either skinny dip (take off all your clothes and jump in a lake) OR fat soak (take a bath with all of your clothes, including your shoes, still on).\n\nBig budgets:\nBLINDED BY THE LIGHTS\nThe Aurora Borealis. A bucket list item of many and a treasured viewing experience for those fortunate enough to take in the spectacle with their own eyes. You will not be one of them. At least not on this trip. Your league en masse takes the trip of a lifetime to Iceland, to bathe in the springs, eat a cute puffin, and behold the Northern Lights… except for you. Because you will be blindfolded by your league-mates at the penultimate moment before the lights appear. You will get to hear your friends’ childlike glee as they enjoy this once in a lifetime moment. Drown your sorrows in brennivín, an Icelandic schnapps also known as \"Black Death\". Skol, bitch.\n\nAnd micro-budgets:\nNO PEEKING\nYou’ll be blindfolded during this year’s Super Bowl. Don't forget the noise-cancelling headphones blasting Tuvan throat singing! (Your friends can remove them to tease you as they see fit.)\n\nAnd hundreds more for your office leagues, family leagues, and the depraved, criminal group you call \"friends.\"\u003cbr\u003eASIN: B0CKN95DBS\u003cbr\u003eVSKU: BVV.B0CKN95DBS.G\u003cbr\u003eCondition: Good\u003cbr\u003eAuthor\/Artist:Kilmoon, James|Giovannetti, Nick|Imburgio, Joe|Jost, Casey|Scrabis, Johnna|Szeluga, John\u003cbr\u003eBinding: Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eNote:\u003c\/b\u003e Any images shown are stock photographs and product may differ from what is shown.  \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eCondition Notes\u003c\/b\u003e: The item shows wear from consistent use, but it remains in good condition and works perfectly. All pages and cover are intact  including the dust cover, if applicable . Spine may show signs of wear. Pages may include limited notes and highlighting. May NOT include discs, access code or other supplemental materials.  \u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Blue Vase Books","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43337877356605,"sku":"BVV.B0CKN95DBS.G","price":9.39,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"url":"https:\/\/www.bluevasebooks.com\/products\/the-best-fantasy-football-punishment-playbook-the-ultimate-guide-to-punishing-friends-co-workers-and-yourself","provider":"Blue Vase Books","version":"1.0","type":"link"}