Sonder: The Art of Empathy Through Eavesdropping

What is Sonder? Several years ago, my students hit a creative wall while brainstorming themes for an upcoming project. In an attempt to move past chiche'd ideas, we took a class period to research words we had never heard before. "Sonder" was one student's discovery, pulled from John Koenig's Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. It describes the sudden realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. This project was born of that sentiment. "Someone just as important as anyone else had an idea worth considering. It's the entire spirit of the word sonder." I wanted to collect stories from strangers but they needed to be raw and unfiltered, so instead of soliciting, I just listened. Over the course of three years, I recorded overheard conversations, typing them in the notes of my phone, scribbling them on scrap paper, or sending wildly out-of-context texts to my partner. I listened ... I recognize all of this makes me a bit of a meddler, sharing a part of a story that's not mine. Ultimately, though, this breach of confidence was meant to validate someone's truth. Someone just as important as anyone else had an idea worth considering- Sonder. ...Catching a glimpse into someone's life can lead us to offer grace we didn't know we had, and we see the best of ourselves. When we offer judgment instead, we might see the uglier parts. We don't need to beat ourselves up in these moments but maybe we can acknowledge these gaps in our perspective and do better next time. Empathy is a practice. This book is about empathy, but it's also about the ways curiosity can become an empathetic practice. It's meant for reflection, connection, devil's- advocacy, and hypotheticals, with some comic relief sprinkled throughout. Sonder considers our ability, or inability, to escape our own self-importance in exchange for a more realistic interpretation of our identity as a dot among a sea of dots. This book asks us to recognize that hope for a richer perspective on humanity begins with an acute awareness of others. In a moment of curiosity, though, we find space for someone else. This body of work and art evolved from an installation in ArtPrize 10 in Grand Rapids, MI. It won first place. It took two full weeks to install. When it was leveled three weeks later, the artist/author was inspired to document Sonder so that people could interact with the work beyond the original installation.- Works and Commentaries by Megan Constance Altieri