I Blame God: A Story Maneuvering My Personal Spiritual Journey - 199

A question that I have asked myself numerous times throughout this journey has been, how in the world did I end up here? How did I end up in such a deep and dark egregious depth of shallow thoughts, actions, associates, and impurities to where it attacked everything within me, around me, and connected to me? Me being in an unhealthy version of myself, caused everything around me to be unhealthy. The more I fought to rid myself of the filth, the more it consumed me. I blamed God. The one omnipresent spirit that I knew could help me from all that I was drowning in, had seemed to be failing me before my very eyes. My prayers were going unanswered, my faith was rocky and my take on religion was becoming dim. Helpless, hopeless, and afraid, I blamed God. I blamed God for it all because I didn’t understand the who, the what, or the why. I was just living my life, as I thought I should. I was doing my darndest to raise my girls, I was working hard, I was not stealing, I wasn’t scamming, or being fake with anyone around me, I wasn’t sleeping with anyone’s husband, I hadn’t murdered anyone, I was not addicted to drugs or selling it, I was following the majority of the ten commandments, I was going to church, tithing a little bit, and I was helping others in whatever capacity that I could, genuinely with the little that I had. In my eyes, I was living right, or as best I could. Why was I sinking? Why was life not flourishing for me? Why had God forgotten about me? He was the only one who could fix this, why wasn’t he? Was he just going to allow me to be a failure and die right within these things that I was in? Who was going to care for my children if I couldn’t? Why was God not coming to my rescue? Did he not hear the many prayers that I had been praying constantly on bended knees? Did he not care? I was confused. I was hurt. I had given up hope that he would rescue me. In my state of despair and turmoil, I had no one else to blame, so in a hasty decision, full of rage, I made my decision on who was at fault. I knew exactly who the culprit was and was hip to the shenanigans. My need for vengeance had consumed my immediate thoughts, and my tear-filled eyes had dealt with more than enough saturation to last many months. I knew who I was going to point the finger at, I knew who was behind my demise. I BLAME GOD!
ASIN: B0D1BXB9DX
VSKU: BVV.B0D1BXB9DX.VG
Condition: Very Good
Author/Artist:Middleton, Desiree P.
Binding: Paperback